Let me tell you something, man-to-man. The fact that you or I haven’t beat a woman? That counts for nothing. The fact that you and I have even been so good as to nice to a woman when it wasn’t strictly called for? That’s not enough to qualify you (or me, or anyone) as a non-arsehole. You know why? Because women get that stuff for free. It’s a matter of course. It’s not something that requires a special effort and a pat on the back for us, every time we do it. “You know what, I have been on the road dozens of times, and I never once deliberately tail-ended someone, and even when someone else blew their horn when they got cut off, I totally agreed with a nod and sympathetic look”. The whole problem that feminism looks at is that the experience of being a woman just isn’t judged as being important or noteworthy. But hey, us guys, look at us, right? We’re nice to people for no reason! Doesn’t that make us great!
Here’s the dirty secret: nice, polite, friendly, politically progressive guys like you and me can reinforce and perpetuate sexism, in fact we often do. So let’s stop pretending that we have some sort of free pass because of our inherent niceness and instead when a woman says “you are behaving in a way that supports sexism” respect her perspective. Because your perspective on sexism? My perspective on feminism? Feminists don’t have to respect it. That’s not how it works because, uhh, we’re not women. So talking about how important it is that feminists “respect” our ‘oh, but as a really nice man I think sexism is bad’ perspective is just bullshit.
Here’s the dirty secret: nice, polite, friendly, politically progressive guys like you and me can reinforce and perpetuate sexism, in fact we often do. So let’s stop pretending that we have some sort of free pass because of our inherent niceness and instead when a woman says “you are behaving in a way that supports sexism” respect her perspective. Because your perspective on sexism? My perspective on feminism? Feminists don’t have to respect it. That’s not how it works because, uhh, we’re not women. So talking about how important it is that feminists “respect” our ‘oh, but as a really nice man I think sexism is bad’ perspective is just bullshit.
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Just so you know, this kind of brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for getting it. Thank you for speaking up.
(via robot-heart-politics) (via vindyc)(via lemdi)(via katoleary)(via bmckinney)
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